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The Art Of Approaching Women

All male-female relationships began at some point as a meeting between two strangers. In most societies and circumstances, it is the male who is responsible for explicitly initiating such a meeting, although the female may well be complicit to a greater or lesser extent. Here we discuss specifically the art of approaching women in evening venues such as bars and night-clubs.

Bars and night-clubs are venues where people go to meet those of the opposite sex. Although a woman may present her agenda as going out 'dancing' with her friends, she is there specifically for the potential of a meeting with a suitable male. Her agenda- and her friends- are there to protect her from the many unsuitable males who may present themselves through the course of an evening. Given this, a woman will often pursue her subconscious agenda of meeting a male she finds attractive by making it easier for him to approach her. Usually she does this through proximity- she stands or sits close to the male she likes.

Sometimes her interest will manifest itself more explicitly as an 'invitation to approach', which may take the form of a smile, prolonged eye contact, or an actual verbal introduction. The first step in the art of approaching women is for the male to develop a sensitivity for these female ploys, many of which may- understandably, for fear of rejection- be rather subtle. Even without any invitations to approach, men should be able to quickly generate interest from scratch by observing a few social rules in the venue. The first of these is known as the "three-second rule", where a man ensures the spontaneity of his intitial contact with a group of strangers by approaching that group within three seconds of first seeing them. There may be occasions when this is impractical, but in general this is a useful rule of thumb because it gets the man outside of his head, and within a short time of entering the venue he should have engaged a decent proportion of people there. He will no longer be a stranger, but very much part of the party.

A man who is having fun, talking to a lot of people, and generating a good energy about himself, is creating what we call 'positive social proof'. People's- and especially girls'- radars pick up on this, and he may find more approach invitations coming his way, or sets he opens opening more easily. On the other hand, a man who is walking around the venue in a predatory way, not smiling, or standing with his friends checking out from a distance potential targets often generates negative social proof. People see him as uncomfortable and avoid him. Practising working a venue is the foundation stone for any successful pick-up artist, and it should become a fun and indispensable ingredient of his social toolkit.

Go out, have fun, and be positive with people, and the positive rewards will be commensurate.

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The Art Of Approaching Women


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